If anyone has ever tried to find a place to eat in the heart of Salt Lake City after hours (or
before hours in our situation) or even a place in general--anything that's open--you might relate to our situation. Around Temple Square at 5am, there is absolutely nothing going on! It's really quite an odd feeling. Fortunately, I knew where a couple gas stations were that I thought might be open, and after being rejected by McDonald's and let down by Denny's, those gas stations were our only hope. And, what do you know, but the first one we tried, a Maverick station, was open for business. So, we parked, ran in, and hoped that they had anything resembling food. I may have even eaten the week-old taquitos or hot dogs gas stations are known for had we not seen the egg and sausage biscuits under the heat lamps. We grabbed a couple of those, two Krispy-Kreme donuts, and drinks, and we were off!
On our way into town, we took note of some of the pay-parking lots we passed as we approached the arena. One thing we noticed right away was everyone was fighting to get into the lots right across the street from the arena--and paying for it! After the gas station, we jetted off to a parking lot that was relatively close and nearly empty. That lot charged $5 for 12 hours and was about two blocks away. After living in Provo and attending BYU for the last couple years, one thing I have learned is to not be afraid of walking. While the other people were waiting in line for a long time just for the possibility of paying $10-12 for a parking spot, we paid $5 and walked 5 minutes. And here's where we get to
the line.
TUESDAY: THE LINE
Once we made it to the arena, we were surprised at how long the line actually was. When we first passed by at 4:30am, it was fairly short and close to the entrance. At 5am, the line extended the length of a city block--there were literally a couple thousand people in front of us. And, what's more, after waiting for maybe 10 minutes, we turned around and looked back and the line had doubled in length behind us. And this wasn't a single-file line either: it was probably a good 20 people wide.
And we waited. In the pages of rules they give you, among the list of prohibited items not to bring were chairs and chairs that fold. So where were to sit? The sidewalk. But we weren't about to sit on the city sidewalk, especially since Jared was all spiffed out in black. And that ended up being wise because a girl behind us decided to spill her Starbucks all over. It still got on my backpack.
And we waited. After we were there awhile, this guy with the smallest megaphone I have ever seen came out and tried to tell us that it would be about another hour before the line started moving so we should "get comfortable". He had to repeat this message every ten feet or so up the line. I kept joking that I could see a Fisher-Price logo on the side of his loudspeaker. He would've been louder had he cupped his hands and talked loudly.
As our hour of waiting turned into two, we just stood there and talked with people around us. This one guy in particular just wouldn't shut up though. He was acting like we were best friends. Plus, I don't know what it is with Mormon kids that wannabe jack like it's cool or something, but he kept going out of his way to drop 'hell' and 'damn' in his sentences, and in places that don't even make sense, you know what I mean? Like he's trying way too hard. I wanted to laugh at first, and later I just wanted to punch him. Maybe he had to try extra hard after he found out I go to BYU, like he wanted to make sure I knew he wasn't as good as me or something. But, c'mon man, I'm from
Las Vegas! Like your little scripture swears are going to impress or intimidate me. Get a clue!
Anyways, another thing that started off fun but quickly turned annoying was the media coverage that was there walking the line. We saw the American Idol camera crews pass by us a few times, the local Fox news team did spots right in front of us (which nobody at home was awake to see), the local NBC and CBS channels, the local CBS helicopter, the local NBC news-radio, and the TV Guide channel hosted by none other than American Idol Season 1 runner-up: Justin Guarini. We were like, "Holy crap! Is that--the TV Guide channel?" Haha.
Two hours or so after the dude with the Hot Wheels megaphone from Toys R' Us announced that it would only be an hour, we arrive at the turning point to this story. The line started to move. That was exciting, if just for the chance to move our legs. Slowly, we made our way forward half a block when suddenly, and this always happens to me, the line monitors put their arms right in front of us to stop the line and put up the yellow tape. And we had to wait some more! Not only did we have to wait, the same guy comes out 20 minutes later with his
miniphone to tell us that all of the people in front of us are going to be doing photo and video ops for about another hour and therefore, they were going to take us through a different entrance--behind us. He told us all to do an about-face and walk the other way to the doors. Somebody asked him, "Does that mean we're now the end of the line?" And he responded, "Yes, it does." After waking up at 2:30am, driving up to Salt Lake, making it through our whole breakfast fiasco, and then waiting for hours standing in line, it was now as if we hadn't even shown up until 8:30am. We were at the back of the line and we had missed the "front" of the line by two steps.
While that sucked, to put it mildly, Jared and I quickly reconciled ourselves with the situation thinking that at least we didn't have to stand for another couple hours in the sun doing photo ops. We were already sick of the media and the hype. We just wanted to audition and get on with our lives. Little did we know...
TUESDAY: SECURITY
I think the worst out of all these disappointments was when we finally made it to the entrance to the arena. When we were close, the same
quietspeaker dude comes out and announces that, by the way, no outside food or beverage is allowed inside the arena. See, this was irritating to me, to say the least, because knowing that we would more than likely be all day at the arena waiting, I had packed Jared and myself enough snacks and drinks to survive. I didn't know what to do. I asked the people around me if anyone wanted a drink and I started to pass stuff out. A few minutes later we hear, by the way, you can take unopened beverages inside. You've got to be kidding me! Fortunately, I had one left. So we get to "security" where they look in our bags, and all they were looking for was food. They didn't even check my cargo shorts pockets (where I didn't even think to stash our snacks, dang it!). I could've had alQaeda in its entirety inside my backpack and nobody would've cared unless Osama had a Snickers bar!
After we
finally made it inside and to our assigned, ticketed seats, they announced that
for our convenience the arena has kindly opened one of their concession stands where food and beverages can be purchased. I think it was at this point that my eye started twitching. That was so maddening! I had plenty to say to the managers of that place and let me tell you, it wasn't anything you could find in any holy book. But I knew, just like they knew, that we needed food. So, long story short, after awhile, I went and stood in line for 30 minutes to pay
$9 for a pretzel (with no cheese) and two Dasani bottles of water. It was absolutely disgusting, and I'm not talking about the food.
To be continued...
